Plot: Thanks to falsified dental records supplied by his former neighbor Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry), retired hit man Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) now spends his days compulsively cleaning his house and perfecting his culinary skills with his wife, Jill, a purported assassin who has yet to pull off a clean hit. Suddenly, an uninvited and unwelcome connection to their past unexpectedly shows up on Jimmy and Jill's doorstep: it's Oz, and he's begging them to help him rescue his wife from the Hungarian mob. To complicate matters even further, the men, who are out to get Oz, are led by Lazlo Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), a childhood rival of Jimmy's and another notorious hit man. Oz, Jimmy and Jill will have to go the whole nine yards--and then some--to manage the mounting Mafioso mayhem.
Alternative Plot: After faking his death, former killer-for-hire Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) retires to Mexico with his new wife, Jill (Amanda Peet), while his ex-wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), settles down in California with Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry), Jimmy's old neighbor. The peaceful lives of both couples are interrupted, however, when Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), a member of the Hungarian Mafia and a former associate of Jimmy's, seeks revenge by kidnapping Cynthia.
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