Plot: John Bennett has been divorced from Lori Collins for five months. Meanwhile, his best friend Ted marries his girlfriend, Tami-Lynn. One year later, following a heated argument, they decide to have a child. As Ted can not have children, John agrees to help Ted find a sperm donor. They ask Sam J. Jones, but he refuses, due to a low sperm count. Then they try to unsuccessfully break into Tom Brady's house and steal his sperm. Ultimately, John offers to donate his sperm. Despite Ted and John's efforts, Tami-Lynn's historical drug use has rendered her infertile, and the couple decide to adopt. As background checks are carried out, Ted's legal status as a person is brought into question.
Alternative Plot: Life has changed drastically for thunder buddies John (Mark Wahlberg), now a bachelor, and best pal Ted (Seth MacFarlane), now married to the woman (Jessica Barth) of his dreams. Problems arise when the couple decide to adopt a child, but the law declares Ted to be property and not a person. Angry and dejected, the lovably foulmouthed teddy bear must now seek legal help from a young lawyer (Amanda Seyfried) and a legendary, civil-rights attorney (Morgan Freeman) to get the justice he deserves.
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