Plot: Alice and John Macy are a young couple facing economical difficulties. John, a loser, has been working as a telemarketer in a lousy company in order for Alice to complete college; however, the ambitious Alice, aiming only for a top position, cannot find work. When John gets fired from his job, he (with Alice) has a car mishap in front of an antique shop, where Alice sees a brass teapot and (compelled) steals it. She soon discovers that the teapot is magical, making money whenever they hurt themselves. Along comes Dr. Ling, who tells them they should give up the teapot before it destroys them with its evil power, but greedy Alice does not want to stop and reaches ever-descending levels of meanness.
Alternative Plot: A magical antique transforms a couple (Juno Temple, Michael Angarano) from hapless losers into instant winners. Each time they experience pain, the object fills with money.
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