Plot: It's the end of World War II. British Lieutenant Ernest Goodbody (Michael Crawford) is relating the story of how he won the war to a German officer. His "victory" is despite the unfeeling power mongering of one of his superiors, Colonel Grapple (Sir Michael Hordern). As he tells the story of the primary mission he led of his Musketeers, the mission to construct a cricket field behind enemy lines in North Africa, his troop members, some no longer in the living, tell both of their own preoccupations with other things in life preventing them from being the best of soldiers, and of Goodbody's ineptitude. Some lament the fact that they didn't kill Goodbody when they had the chance. The actual telling of the story is due to Goodbody's troop being caught in a precarious situation in the Rhine Valley, from which Goodbody commandeers his way out successfully. Are Goodbody's actions actually successful?
Alternative Plot: Captured by German soldiers, British officer Ernest Goodbody (Michael Crawford) details his history as a commanding officer. While he describes himself as a noble and heroic officer, the truth is that he is a bumbling idiot whose own ineptitude and idiocy ends up costing the lives of most of his company. As his own men continue to drop like flies, their ghosts remain on the battlefield, marching along with their commanding officer even after death.
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